Series 25, episode 18

Sparks fly on Mr Robson’s wedding day.

28 March 2002, repeated 30 and 31 March 2002, 5 March and 13 August 2003

“Let the world know exactly what kind of man is taking over the reins”

Content warning for implied violence, terrible CGI, and for great balls of fire.

Martin and Max and Kathy and Ben wait outside the school grounds, plotting to put the truth about Deverill, or Wilcox, or whatever his name is.

Kathy flatters Mr. Deverill, promises a website article about the new headteacher. Deverill trusts her, and hands over the keys to the computer room.

So, what’s Chris and Kieron’s plan? Counterfeit notes, Cracker’s to drop them off at Macca’s scrap metal yard, and will be paid £500 for his troubles. Except that Kieron’s switched the parcel, replacing the counterfeit notes with an identical package he prepared earlier. Bit late to audition for Blue Peter?

Cracker turns up at the scrap car yard, and hands over the package. It’s a pile of blank paper. Cracker runs away from the men, but is saved when Kieron turns up.

Kieron spins a yarn about Chris being worried that Macca had talked to the cops, and that’s why Chris sent the blank notes. Meet him at the club, they suggest. So they go off to the club, where Chris finds a note “What goes around, comes around”, and the piles of fake £50 notes. And in come three coppers to nick the lot of them.

“The chemical cupboard is the safest place I can think of”, says Mr. Hankin, who will be Mr. Robson’s best man. That’s where he’s hidden the rings. They pass Max and Ben and Ian and Rob from the independent school, who are hiding in the car park.

Mr. Hankin insists on putting the chemicals back in the cupboard, but Mr. Wilcox-Deverill-thingy insists the chaps go – he’ll lock up and they can put the chemicals away later.

Mr. Robson turns up late for the wedding, a neat reversal of the traditional roles. “Let’s get married,” replies Miss Carver.

Vikki and Briony have a talk, during which Briony’s bag spills open. It’s got sweets and crisps in it, television code for crap food. Briony can’t talk about what’s going on.

Matt has twigged what’s going on, how Briony’s making herself throw up, to feel better about herself.

The happy couple turn up in school, for a small and intimate meal, organised by Carl. The curtains drop to reveal all of the pupils, and there are speeches from Miss Fraser and Mr. Hankin.

After that, Ian has a quiet word with Mr. Deverill. “Kathy’s got a problem: should she file you under D or W. For Wilcox. Stephen Wilcox.” A face like thunder, as his secret is rumbled.

Kathy is quietly working in the computer room, and publishes “Deverill / Wilcox? You decide” on the screens. Mr. Devewilcox enters the room, fuming like smoke’s coming out of his nostrils, and raises his hand to strike Kathy. Ian and Ben follow, with Mr. Robson seeing it all.

And the evidence just keeps coming. Ian tells of how he was struck the once, and then Rob from the private school enters. “Sacked for violent conduct… you make me feel worthless.” Devewilcox’s response? “You weren’t bad. You were pathetic. I should have hit you harder.” Mr. Robson has heard enough.

Devewilcox is put into the PRF, a room for “quiet reflection”. Except… he’s still got his keys, and lets himself out of the PRF. Heading to the headmaster’s office, he collects incriminating papers and puts them in a bin. He prepares to burn them… and notices the smoke alarm.

Turning the school’s fire alarm off, Devewilcox lights his fire and prepares to make good his escape. But Vikki and Kieron are rowing in the corridor outside, leaving Devewilcox to exit through the window. And in the unguarded office, the draught from the open window fans the flame and it catches his second suit…

Ian’s going to get his army reference. Cracker tells Tom that Lisa fancies him something rotten, and they talk and they kiss.

Mr. Robson tells his new wife that he’s staying for another year. Briony opens her soul to Matt.

And the fire has spread, out of the head’s office and into the chemical lab.

And Kieron and Vikki are still rowing, how Kieron does everything himself, and how all he wants is Vikki. It’s the deep kiss they’ve been leading up to for the whole series.

Ian and Max have alerted Mr. Robson to the escaped Devewilcox, and they stumble on the fire. Mrs. Robson breaks the fire alarm with her shoe, but nothing happens. Tom and Lisa stumble pass the place, and shout “Run!” at Vikki and Kieron.

And then, in a spectacularly bad CGI effect even by 2002 standards, a fireball leaps out of the chemistry lab and instantly engulfs the whole building. Windows are blown out, though the flames somehow don’t affect the benches just outside.

Si Spencer wrote, Mark Sendall directed.

Music: “High” by The Lighthouse Family as Miss Carver prepares… “Dancing in the moonlight” by Toploader as Ian ambushes Devewilcox… At the party: “Mambo number 5” by Lou Vega… “Life is a rollercoaster” by Ronan Keating… “True” by Spandau Ballet… “Groovejet (if this ain’t love)” from Spiller and Sophie Ellis Bextor… “Everlasting love” by The Love Affair … “Sexbomb” by Tom Jones.

The series ends here. I’ll be back next week, to wrap up the 2002 series, and the 1994-2002 era as a whole.

Series 25, episode 13

Maddie has a memorable 13th birthday.

12 March 2002, repeated 16 and 17 March 2002, 2 March and 10 August 2003

“Told you we wouldn’t have jelly.”

After last episode’s tribute to the 80s, we’re back to a more conventional framing this time: Maddie’s birthday. Mrs. Gilks has bought special party food for all Maddy’s mates, and hopes to see a lot of them later.

For this to happen, Maddie would need to have handed out the invitations, and not (for instance) dumped them in the trash for Martin to find. And for lots of friends to come round, she’d needed to have invited more people than her dodgy mate Tina, who brings her gothy friend Louise.

Much alcohol is drunk, somewhat more than Maddie intended to drink. The perils of Tina egging Maddie on, forgetting the age gap between them. As a result, Maddie’s sick behind the sofa, and then passes out. Tina and Louise scrawl “LOSER!” all over Maddie’s forehead and take a picture.

Tina uses a film camera: while digital cameras were available in 2002, they were very low-resolution (320×240 at best) and hideously expensive. Quality standalone digital cameras and smartphones came out around the same time, circa 2007.

Where’s Mrs. Gilks at a time like this? Behind the bar at the club, proving to Chris that she’s capable of doing the job he doesn’t want her to do. It keeps the wolf from the door, pays for the party spread.

Martin, meanwhile, eggs on Kathy and Josh to show up for Maddie’s party. Has something from The Breakfast Club chimed for him? Might have done, Martin doesn’t have to be nice for Maddie, but he is anyway. The three of them arrive to an unlocked front door, and beat Mrs. Gilks home by just a few moments.

Lisa is back in school, first time since she was attacked in episode 1. She’s almost missed the place. Hasn’t missed the people, though. Tom and Matt are barely speaking after Briony tried to chat Tom up last episode, and Matt’s even more unamused to see she’s yakking with some other blokes. Later, Lisa sees Tom embrace his new girlfriend, the blonde he was with last episode. Not to Lisa’s taste.

What Matt doesn’t see is Briony in the toilets, quite audibly throwing up after lunch. “Something I ate,” she tells a worried Leah.

Kieron Osbourne continues to try and insert himself into Vikki’s affections, and sends her a single red rose. Danny doesn’t see it, because he’s busy apologising for acting like a divot lately. Scared of being left behind by the university students, pissed off at Kieron flashing his ample wodge.

Danny and Vikki go to the club, which gives Vikki a chance to speak her mind to Kieron. After they leave, Kieron finds that Vikki’s left her mobile phone. We can see the cogwheels turning from here.

Also acting like a divot: Ian Hudson. Gets in a grump with Mr. Jones, who has given up sticking up for Ian after hearing all his crimes from Mr. Deverill. Has to have a sharp word from Max and Ben, who miss him terribly.

But without their star striker, Grange Hill have no chance in the district tournament. Ian grovels to Mr. Deverill, apologising for his recent behaviour. That’s enough to get him back on the team: clearly Mr. Deverill is a gloryhunter.

Ian also mentions that his army reference is already in, it was written by Mr. Robson before he was taken ill. Why are you telling us this, script editor, if not to confound Ian’s expectations?

Mrs. Holmes is not in a good way. She sees Mr. Deverill’s “Pupil Reflection Facility” (a windowless room painted blue), and sums it up as “Fine”. She hides behind the opinion page of The Times and seems to be completely cut off from her emotions. All she needs is a good night’s sleep, she claims. Mr. Hankin offers to run her home; don’t expect she’ll make the barbecue date with Michael and Miss Fraser for the weekend.

Mr. Robson holds a soiree of his own, Miss Carver’s round to help him prepare. He is about to say something of earth-shattering importance when the others arrive. They hear his news: Mr. Robson’s going to resign!

This is great news for Mr. Deverill, who clearly thinks he’s a shoo-in for the job. Miss Carver’s face falls, she clearly thinks Mr. Deverill is a shoo-in for the job, and really could not stand working under him.

Carl and Clare are giving a talk to underprivileged Black children. It takes a little time before Carl can tell Clare that he knows where she lives, and she isn’t the poster child for underprivileged.

Amy finds Chaz is in the hospital waiting for her mother. She hears about Chaz’s two children, now living across in Canada with their mother. He misses them, of course. Mrs. Davenport introduces Jo, a Macmillan nurse, and someone Amy will be seeing quite a bit.

Later, Mrs. Davenport tells the news to Amy. The cancer didn’t go away after the operation. They caught it too late. They only have a few weeks together.

John Dower directed this episode, and the next three as well. They’re his only contributions to Grange Hill, his other credits include CBBC’s Home Farm Twins, ITV’s hidden camera show Make My Day, and nine episodes of Wolfblood once they’d moved to the city.

Philip Gladwin wrote. He was right to put Mrs. Davenport’s news late in the episode, but leave about five minutes of lighter action afterwards: an adult soap would have made it the closing scene.

Music “Say what you want”, Texas text-paint the moment when Maddie finds her mother’s given her a Hello Kitty bag… Maddie’s party is soundtracked by Natalie Imbruglia’s Left of the Middle album – “Torn”, “Leave me alone”, and “Wishing I was there”. Can we believe Mrs. Gilks put the album on and this segment unfolded in real time? About fifteen minutes? Quite possibly… Don’t know about the banging tune in the club, or the deep house tunes after Maddie sprews up… but do know about Lou Bega’s “Mambo number 5” earlier at Maddie’s… and “Woman trouble” by Artful Dodger as Vikki and Kieron have their heart-to-heart.

Passing through Louise, the goth-ish friend is played by Fiona Corbett, or some similar name. Sadly, CBBC didn’t bother with full-screen credits this series, and we don’t get to see talent in these relatively small roles.

Natasha Byrne played Jo, the cancer nurse. She’d been a baby actor, starring as Kate in Central’s The Cabbage Patch, and continues to work in the theatre.

Main stars Emma Willis plays Vikki Meedes. She’s not the Big Brother host and general TV megastar, but a character actor. Other roles include Lucy Collins in Mile High, and Delcine in The Journeys.

Max Brown played Danny Hartson. He’s continued in acting, roles include Sam Grey in Mistresses, Edward Seymour in The Tudors, Evan Marks in CBS’s Beauty and the Beast, and King Robert in comedy The Royals.