Romance is in the air.
26 March 2002, repeated 30 and 31 March 2002, 5 March and 13 August 2003
“Someone expendable. And a bit stupid.”
Content warning for suicide.
Amy is back in school: Spencer comes round to help walk her there, and Chaz asks “first one back puts the kettle on”. But when Amy returns, and calls “Hi, mum”, the silence crushes her, and she sits in her mother’s favourite chair and thinks about things.
Chaz pulls a surprise from the bedroom: Amy’s been left a box of presents, things to mark various stages in her life. One for when she passes her GCSE exams next summer, one for when she takes her A-levels in 2005. One for whenever she passes her driving test, and something for when Amy sets up a home of her own. Amy’s mother may be gone, but she’s not going to be forgotten.
‘Scuse us, there’s a bit of dust on the internet.
Vikki’s confusing love life continues. Kieron turns up at the school gates, and professes his love for her. Danny says his goodbyes, he’s finished his exams and will be off on his bike within a few hours. Not really what you want to hear before writing an A-level examination, but Vikki does her best.
Briony is sitting the same paper. Earlier, she spoke to Matt, who had been waiting for her outside the toilets. “I need to know, is it mine?” he asks, convinced that Briony is pregnant. “Do I look that fat, that disgusting?” spits Briony, not actually pregnant. In the exam room, Briony looks around for inspiration, and then walks out with some minutes of the test still to go. She’s written the grand non-total of nothing.
It’s a Sarah Daniels episode, and her most usual trope – strong woman wreaks an entertaining revenge – comes to the fore. Maddie is again confronted by pictures of her in a drunken state, and then by Tina and Louise sneering at Maddie. Martin is close by, and wonders why – as Maddie’s always been horrible to him – why Maddie can’t be horrible to them, too.
That’s the spark Maddie needs. While Tina is in PE class, Maddie pilfers the shoes she’s wearing (and that Tina nicked from Maddie’s very own feet), and swaps them for odd shoes from lost property.
At the school gate, Tina sees Maddie, with Kathy Josh and Martin, and threatens her to give the shoes back, or suffer from shoe-in-mouth disease.
By scriptwriter’s fiat, Maddie’s mother Suzy appears. She’s had some careers advice, and handed in her notice at the club. The advice came from Mr. Robson, who said that Maddie needs a mother, not just a friend.
Lisa talks to Tom, about she doesn’t quite fit in since returning to school, and how Tom’s so busy now he’s a model. Unspoken is how if you love someone, tell them. Tom suggests he and Lisa go out together, and they arrange to meet at the club.
So Lisa keeps their date, dressed up as though she’s going to see Tracy’s favourite band. “I’ve never seen you dressed as a girl,” exclaims Tom – equally inaccurate and unhelpful. “You’ll always be one of the lads,” he continues, as though this was a good thing. The “date” is Tom and Lisa… and Matt, and perhaps Briony, just hanging out.
Lisa makes her excuses and leaves. “I thought you had a date,” says Cracker as Lisa leaves. “So did I.”
At the club, Chris exposes his masterplan: to launder counterfeit cash into the wider economy through the club. There’s a hundred grand in the safe, all worth the total of nothing. But he’ll offer Kieron 20% to spread the cash, and Cracker £500 to deliver a package of the fake money. “We need someone expendable, and perhaps a little stupid.”
Miss Carver is annoyed, because the hotel she and Mr. Robson had earmarked for their wedding reception has double-booked them. Carl has a cunning plan, and shares it with Mr. Robson… Mr. Jones is a little offhand about the idea of the two getting married, we know he tried to date Miss Carver in both 1997 and 2000.
But the main plot is the ongoing row between Mr. Deverill or Wilcox or whatever his name is, and Ian Hudson. Prior to talking with him, Mr. Robson asks about what’s caused Ian’s behaviour: Mr. Deverill puts it down to a “problem with authority”, and suggests that Mr. Robson doesn’t mention Deverill’s name to Ian.
So Mr. Robson has his chat with Ian, but Ian doesn’t tell the truth about Mr. Deverill, how he was struck by the deputy head. Mr. Robson believes that Ian is truculent, and says he has “no option but to rescind his reference” for the army.
Ian is desperately unhappy. He climbs up on the roof, and stands on the edge. Mr. Jones climbs out of a window to join him. Surely he didn’t need to take such a dangerous route: we remember back in 1997 how a whole party went up a ladder to the roof – Tom, and Alec, and Mr. Robson, and Mrs. Holmes.
Anyway, Ian and Mr. Jones have a heart-to-heart. Mr. Jones confides how he didn’t want to be in the army, he wanted to teach, but thought he’d never have the chance. Anything can happen, and you don’t want to give Mr. Deverill the satisfaction of knowing he’s killed you.
Mr. Deverill spends the day at County Hall, successfully interviewing for the post of Grange Hill headmaster.
Ben and Max raid his office, looking for incriminating information. Ben notices his wallet, and the names on the bank cards: one as Mr. Deverill, one as Mr. Wilcox. They have all the proof to expose Deverill, and a plan to spread the news…
Sarah Daniels wrote this episode, they needed to end the series in some style. Mark Sendell directs: he did these last two episodes, and two more episodes in the 2007 series. Mark also worked on Eastenders from 2000 to 2008, including a spell as producer in 2004. He appears to have left the industry around 2009.
Music “Out of reach” by Gabrielle, as Chaz and Amy prepare for school… “Groovejet” by Spiller, as Lisa arrives for her non-date with Tom.
Programming note Neither the Saturday repeat on the CBBC channel, nor the Sunday repeat on BBC2, were affected by programming changes following the Queen Mother’s death late on Saturday afternoon. The CBBC repeat had already finished when the news broke, BBC2 continued its Sunday morning block roughly as normal.
Main characters
Sally Geoghegan was Miss Carver. Her other major roles were as Catherine Ellis in Carlton’s drama Head over Heels in early 1993; and in Merchant Ivory’s production of Howard’s End the year before.
Stuart Organ was Mr. Robson; he’ll remain with the show until the end of next year’s series, and the total of 264 episodes is the most by any character – Mrs. McClusky only managed 169. Stuart had played the occasional character Kevin Cross in Brookside from 1984-89, and popped up as Bazin on Doctor Who Dragonfire in 1987. After leaving Grange Hill, he played Len Parker on comedy Down to Earth, but is best known for providing all sorts of voices for video games.
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